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RE: Sometimes I hate the truth about me - 3/5/2008 2:37:30 PM
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Ruthie
Posts: 70
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Center of the Universe, Canada
Status: offline
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*blush*
Wow. I just felt that a public confession was in order. What's the point in lying about it on top of it all?
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RE: Sometimes I hate the truth about me - 3/5/2008 4:13:44 PM
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jbow
Posts: 705
Joined: 2/16/2007
From: Dixie
Status: offline
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Good Ruthie!
Seeing yourself is a necessary step toward being a disciple of Christ.
Jesus went through three things that we must go through. Rejection, death, then resurrection life.
In order to come into life you must first die. Jesus said that we must deny ourself. We are to say "no" to ourself, to reject ourself just as He was rejected by the people of His day. Then we must embrace death, the death of the cross, whereby we are crucified and dead to the world and to sin, no longer trying to get approval from the world which stand's in rebellion against God. We reject our own life, we deny our own self and the cross stand's between us and the world.
Then... and only then can we begin to walk in the abundant life. The victorious life.
For most of us it take's two death experiences. When we are born again we pass from death into life and we are justified, we receive salvation one time for all. (As the picture of children of Israel show us as they passed through the waters of the Red Sea... never again to see the Egyptians).
Jesus death 'plus nothing else' is applied for our justification but most of us then wander in the wilderness refusing to deny ourself and longing for the fleshpots of Egypt (like the children of Israel did for 40 years). Then finally we learn that we must deny ourself and embrace our death and the cross, (symbolized by the death of all the older generation of the children of Israel in the wilderness) and we pass through the water again, (the Jordan) and into the land of promise... the sabbath of God, the land of rest... the life abundant, again by faith.
Paul didn't like what he saw in himself either and if you remember he had to openly rebuke Peter for the way Peter was acting around the Jews. None of us like what we see inside and what is inside cannot be improved none of us are good inside apart from the life of Christ in us. Our life must be denied and rejected and we must take up our cross, choosing death to the world. We must know that we are dead to the world and the world is dead to us through the cross. It is offensive to the world and the world will hate us for it.
Jesus said: "Whoever save's his life will lose it, but whoever lose's his life for My sake will find it".
He said: "Wide is the way that lead's to destruction and narrow is the gate that lead's to life and few there be who find it."
The wide way is life... the choosing of our life in this world. The narrow way is singular... it is death. Choose death, your death, for your death to your own life, your death to your own desires, is the only way to live the life of Christ that is also inside you.
Deny yourself. Count yourself as dead to the world but alive to God... through the cross.
Paul said, "I die daily" and so must we if we want to live.
Seeing yourself is a good thing. Know your enemy.
"We have met the enemy and he is us". Pogo
"Deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow Me"
Deny yourself = self denial, losing your life.
Take up your cross = dead to the world, seeking no approval from the world.
Follow Me = living the life of Christ, walking in obedience, walking in the Spirit.
No one can do the last part, the "follow Me" part without doing the frist two parts. One can certainly be saved but not a disciple.
Most of my life I have seen myself and hated what I saw but have been powerless to change anything really. I have tried so many ways and so many times to "do better", alway's to fall to the wickedness that live's in me. All because I failed to grasp that I had to deny myself and that I could not have the both approval of the world and the approval of God. I have had many years in the wilderness trying to grasp life without first choosing my own demise....
I have learned to not fight against one sin or another because then some other sin will just sprout up somewhere else... because our flesh (or our "old man" or "indwelling sin" or whatever you call it), is a world of wickedness with many different ways to manifest it's evil. The problem is not gossip or lust or lying or any other sin. The problem is US. The only answer is to deny ourself, take up our cross, and follow Him.
It is good to see yourself!
Julien
_____________________________
"These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world."
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RE: Sometimes I hate the truth about me - 3/5/2008 4:34:41 PM
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Ignited-Faith
Posts: 360
Joined: 2/22/2008
Status: offline
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Ruthie,
Amen and Praise God!
I can relate so well to what you said, since just a few minutes ago God showed me the ugly truth about me too!
I was reading about a person who was fasting... I thought to myself;
"Your not supposed to tell people when you fast..."
All of a sudden my Husband walked into the room. I found myself quickly shutting down that window, and opening up my E-mail to the page where I am a Prayer Mentor... I prayed and then (It can only be God) I went to my favorite places and clicked on Petra. I felt like reading some of their lyrics. The song that jumped out at me was called:
Altar Ego
Based on Matthew 6:5,16, James 4:6
(Here is part of the song!)
I can tell by the look on your face
It's another day of fasting
I can tell by the length of the shadow
That your face is casting
And you look both ways before you pray
Just to see who's watching you today
(Chorus)
It's just your altar ego - and it's so hard to know
Beneath the piety and hidden vanity begins to show
It's just your altar ego - and you don't even know
And you won't even grow til His Spirit strikes a bow
To your altar ego
You love to seen by men
In all the public places........
Turn around and face the One
Who knows your heart...
_____________________________
And God still loves us.
I am more amazed at that...
~ Ignited-Faith
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RE: Sometimes I hate the truth about me - 3/5/2008 6:06:59 PM
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Walker311
Posts: 1749
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
came across one and, as soon as I realized that it was not... how to put a good face on it... "interesting" enough, I left. Okay, there is no way to put a good face on it. I wanted to feel better by reading about someone else's scandal. Gossip, pure and simple.
Yeah! Every one of YOU forums posters are what I call cyber ambulance chasers and I have run out of freaky, weird, gossipy, wild, strange, sensational, and interesting topics to entertain y'all.
However, I think I oversaw (is that a word) a topic in the ladies folder about a woman who has addictionsto toe wrestling and hand grabbing for catfish.
    
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RE: Sometimes I hate the truth about me - 3/5/2008 7:32:46 PM
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x_SoliDeoGloria_x
Posts: 174
Joined: 9/3/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
The longer I follow Christ, the more I see how massively unworthy and icky I am.
Praise God Almighty!
I think that's exactly the way it's supposed to work!
_____________________________
"Not by work going before grace shall I deserve grace, nor by my work following grace shall I deserve eternal life; but to him that believes, sin is pardoned and righteousness imputed." -- Martin Luther
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RE: Sometimes I hate the truth about me - 3/5/2008 8:09:57 PM
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Liveloved
Posts: 1353
Joined: 1/22/2008
Status: offline
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quote:
quote:
The longer I follow Christ, the more I see how massively unworthy and icky I am.
Praise God Almighty!
I think that's exactly the way it's supposed to work!
And another big PRAISE THE LORD here!
Amen and amen.
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RE: Sometimes I hate the truth about me - 3/5/2008 9:46:05 PM
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tlj2442
Posts: 51
Joined: 2/10/2008
Status: offline
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First and foremost, I need to apologize to my church family, for not doing my part. Lately, I have made excuses, for not serving our church, Christ’s church, nor have I served my community. I have found myself sitting on the sidelines criticizing my fellow church members and our church leadership.
I would like to read to you what Jonathan Swift wrote about criticism:
A Malignant Deity, Called Criticism…
At her right hand sat Ignorance, her father and husband, blind with age; at her left, Pride, her mother, dressing her up in scraps of paper she herself had torn. There was Opinion, her sister, light of foot, hoodwinked and headstrong, yet giddy and perpetually turning. About her played her children, Noise and Impudence, Dullness and Vanity, Positive ness, Pedantry and Ill-Manners. The goddess herself had claws like a cat, her head, and ears and voice resembled those of an ass; her teeth fallen out before, her eyes turned inward, as if she also looked only upon herself; her diet was overflowing of her own gall.
I am guilty of all of these things stated here and I am ashamed of myself.
I need to apologize to the deacons of this church. I have been a member of this congregation for over a year now, and just this last Friday I found out who you are, and how many there are of you. I was surprised to find out who some of you are. I ask for your forgiveness for not paying attention.
I need to apologize to the elders of this church. After all of this time I still do not know who all of you are. I know you spend long and hard hours with all of your duties such as giving the church direction, teaching our flock, and leading this congregation. I am sorry that I have not offered you my support or lent my hand, in helping you grow this ministry, and to see to the needs of our church followers, and our community, for this I ask for your forgiveness.
I need to apologize to my Pastor. I am guilty of placing a, “Superman Complex” on his shoulders. When I look at him on Sunday morning, I find my self, placing this “S” on the front of his suit. To me he is the be all and end all of everything in this church. It is easy for me to dump everything on his shoulders after all he is “my” Pastor.
I find it easier to blame him for my shortcomings and the failures of this church. It is his fault, not mine, if I do not read and study my Bible, even though he encourages me to. It is his fault that I do not participate more in the workings and doings of this church, even though he ask me to get involve and be apart of this ministry. It is his fault that I fail as a Christian, even though he instructs me, guides me, and loves me as God has instructed him to do so.
I ask for your forgiveness for my selfishness, my pettiness, and my laziness in all of these matters.
Over these last few days, I have come to realize that this church is composed of people just like me. It will be friendly if I am. It will do great work if I work. It will make generous gifts to many causes if I am generous. It will bring others into fellowship if I bring them. Its seats will be filled, if I fill them. It will be a church of loyalty and love, of faith and service. If I who make it what it is, am filled with these, therefore, with God’s help, I dedicate myself to the task of being all of these things.
I have also realized the church is never a place but always the people; never a fold but always a flock; never a sacred structure of bricks or marble can no more be a church than one’s clothes of serge or satin can be he. There is in this world nothing sacred but man, no sanctuary of God but the soul.
I AM YOUR CHURCH! Make of me what you will, I shall reflect you as clearly as a mirror. If outwardly my appearance is pleasing and inviting, it is because you made me so. If within my spiritual atmosphere is kindly, yet earnest; reverent, yet friendly; worshipful, yet sincere; sympathetic, yet strong; divine, yet humanly expressed; it is but the manifestation of the spirit of those who constitute my membership. But, if you should, by chance, find me a bit cold and dull, I beg of you not to condemn me, for I show forth the only kind of life I shall receive from you. I have no life or spirit apart from you. Of this may you always be assured: I will respond instantly to your every wish practically expressed, for I am the reflected image of your own soul. Make of me what you will.
Most of all I ask for Christ forgiveness, I now know that Christ’s church, (this is “His” church), will never fail me or you, but, we can and most probably will fail Him as a church and I have failed Him.
I also now know that when I point the finger and spew the words of criticism at my church family, its leaders and at “my” Pastor that I will always have three fingers pointing back at me.
It is with a heavy heart, that I have come to realize, that I need to be thankful. I have a pastor who is willing to challenge me to be a better person and by that making me a better Christian. I need to be more thankful for the church family that I have. You have welcomed me in to your arms and into your hearts and for this I am truly thankful.
I would like to say this to my Pastor,
As your critics, we might know the price of everything but we will likely never know the true value of you- but take to heart that our Father in heaven does and that there are others in this church who love you and know of your true value.
In conclusion, I read somewhere about wonderful and beautiful church garden.
It consists of three rows of squash- 1. Squash indifference. 2. Squash criticism. 3. Squash gossip. It also has four rows of turnips- 1. Turn up for meetings. 2. Turn up with a smile. 3. Turn up with a visitor. 4. Turn up with a Bible and at last five rows of lettuce -1. Let us love one another. 2. Let us welcome strangers 3. Let us be faithful in duty. 4. Let us truly worship God. 5. Let us give liberally.
I am asking the members of this congregation to help me grow this garden. Christ’s church and our Pastor deserve a better and more humble flock then what I have given them. I see now that if I / we can lay down our differences and come together, we can do great things in the name of God.
Thank you,
P.S. Please pray for me and my family.
I just sent this letter to my church and church family so yeah I know how you feel
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RE: Sometimes I hate the truth about me - 3/5/2008 10:03:08 PM
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jfaye
Posts: 702
Joined: 12/18/2007
Status: offline
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tlj2442, All I can say is WOW!! You have really been led to do some soul-searching!
I am very humbled by your openness, as well. My heart goes out to you, and I am
also very proud of you!
God is at work, isn't He--doing what He does best, to make us ready to follow Him!!!
_____________________________
Thankfully His,
Janice
"We cannot appreciate God's mercy until we realize He is first the God of justice!"
"O taste and see that the LORD is good;
How blessed is the one who takes refuge in Him!"
Psalm 34:8
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RE: Sometimes I hate the truth about me - 3/7/2008 12:22:05 PM
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dathomas62
Posts: 2
Joined: 3/7/2008
Status: offline
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tlj2442,
God bless you for your transparency. I see myself in this post.
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RE: Sometimes I hate the truth about me - 3/7/2008 12:30:48 PM
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doinkdom
Posts: 3965
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: The higher lowcountry
Status: offline
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I know that the blackness in my heart rivals the pit of hell on any given day. I am shameful and I also shamelessly accuse others of what I already do.
God has forgiven so much in me just for today...why can't I extend that same grace to others.
The truth is terrible in my life, but God's grace is wonderful.
_____________________________
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RE: Sometimes I hate the truth about me - 3/8/2008 1:44:20 PM
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terryjohn
Posts: 395
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline
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If you want to feel better about yourself just watch some reality TV. I have watched some of those reality Tv programs and have always wondered if the women in them realise that if men saw them behaving like they do, would they ever get married? Please some one tell me they are just acting for the camera because the agression, lying and vindictiveness of these women and some men is one sure reason why the pits of hell are enlarged. Surely the programs Bridezilla or Sweet sixteen are not real, are they?
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RE: Sometimes I hate the truth about me - 3/8/2008 8:31:47 PM
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Walker311
Posts: 1749
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
I know that the blackness in my heart rivals the pit of hell on any given day.
I used to have this crazy idea that we all have to be squeaky clean to enter heavens gates. A task that is absolutely impossible because no matter how clean I thought that I had become, especially in my thinking, I would always be suprised.
How in the world do we lasso our brains and control the junk that oozes in... even while sitting in church?
I figure that if I have this much trouble, surely some are in the same boat.
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RE: Sometimes I hate the truth about me - 3/8/2008 9:48:38 PM
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rosamaria
Posts: 55
Joined: 2/13/2008
Status: offline
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Yeah,,
Your nt alone, Ruthie..
The more I am in the WoG ,
the more I realize I am nothing.
But, becuz of HIM, I have a reason to live.
And I realize He is only the One.
I have so much growin up to do, so very much.
_____________________________
We have an AWESOME GOD!
"Faith is the daring of the soul to go further than it can see."
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RE: Sometimes I hate the truth about me - 3/11/2008 2:51:52 AM
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totalfaith
Posts: 112
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline
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quote:
I used to have this crazy idea that we all have to be squeaky clean to enter heavens gates. A task that is absolutely impossible because no matter how clean I thought that I had become, especially in my thinking, I would always be suprised.
Yes, I can definitely relate to this. I still have a hard time once in awhile getting my butt to Church on Sunday if I feel I've failed in some way during the week. I know it's stupid, but the devil is great at convincing us how horrible we are.
I guess that brings up something else. I think it's great that we see our sinfulness as Ruthie pointed out, but we need to be careful that we don't allow the devil to make us feel condemned about it. Did that make sense?
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RE: Sometimes I hate the truth about me - 3/11/2008 1:41:20 PM
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judeslice
Posts: 10
Joined: 4/16/2005
Status: offline
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Hello ruthie ,
Do you think this is a good thing or bad to see yourself as you are today ?
Once I locked myself in my room for almost 2 months because I hated myself so much and I was so ashamed of who I was , but thanks be to God , He came into my life .
Sometimes we have to see who we are to see that we have to change . and if we never get to see it then who can we change it ? we can not .
God is always helping us to see the things that need to be change , and yes sometimes it is very hard to see yourselves as we are , but in the end it is for your good ,We are living vessels for God's Love and in order to become more and more like Him we need to see the things that make us ugly , in order to make us beautiful in God's Love . True beauty comes from with in it is God's Love that truely makes us beautiful .
God Bless christopher
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RE: Sometimes I hate the truth about me - 3/11/2008 10:30:35 PM
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TMeeks
Posts: 1422
Joined: 1/27/2007
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: judeslice
Hello ruthie ,
Do you think this is a good thing or bad to see yourself as you are today ?
Once I locked myself in my room for almost 2 months because I hated myself so much and I was so ashamed of who I was , but thanks be to God , He came into my life .
Sometimes we have to see who we are to see that we have to change . and if we never get to see it then who can we change it ? we can not .
God is always helping us to see the things that need to be change , and yes sometimes it is very hard to see yourselves as we are , but in the end it is for your good ,We are living vessels for God's Love and in order to become more and more like Him we need to see the things that make us ugly , in order to make us beautiful in God's Love . True beauty comes from with in it is God's Love that truely makes us beautiful .
God Bless christopher
Sometimes we don't see ourselves as we are. We see ourselves as someone else has told us we are. That's not always very helpful.
The most important thing that we can know about ourselves is that, as long as we breath, we can be made clean and whole in Jesus Christ. We don't have to stay where we are.
_____________________________
Galatians 6:7 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. 8 The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.
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RE: Sometimes I hate the truth about me - 3/11/2008 11:41:47 PM
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Ldychef2k
Posts: 26
Joined: 2/25/2008
Status: offline
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Well, the truth about me is that I am the treasure of the Father's heart, no matter how much I run from it and try and make myself yucky. The truth is that I am His masterpiece and when he watches me g about my day, I bring Him joy. If He loves me so much, why would I hate myself?
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