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RE: my crush is gone - 3/28/2008 2:32:28 PM
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John_O
Posts: 6936
Joined: 9/5/2006
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When in doubt, approach. Rejection always heals faster than regret.
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: my crush is gone - 3/29/2008 9:11:25 AM
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dinomax55
Posts: 241
Joined: 6/22/2007
From: O-H-I-O
Status: offline
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There are other fish in the sea!
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We can never achieve perfection.. but if we chase perfection we will catch excellence.
-Vince Lombardi
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RE: my crush is gone - 3/31/2008 12:57:34 AM
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RichLP
Posts: 1779
Joined: 5/4/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: AdrianaS
Its ok to cry for the spilled milk...and now you dont know why this or that...but it became a lesson to not spill the milk again and etc.
This crush situation may get in the way of just knowing pleasant people and etc.
Well..wish you a better approach next time. 
Now..just curiosity, for how long you know her and know you have a crush? If you want share more, we are all ears. 
End of summer last year. At one point during this winter I went there every day for lunch just because I wanted to see her. Yes, terribly corny. But hey, I'm honest.
I wasn't sure whether to approach her. Sometimes she was quite friendly; on other days she wouldn't give me the time of day. I knew she was very busy as a cashier and that she wasn't there to make friends. But when she was friendly with me, she was SO pleasant... such a beautiful huge smile, wonderful pale, soft (I'm assuming it was soft, I never laid a hand) facial skin, feminine hands.
She and I were from the same country and one day she blurted out to me in our ancestral language whether I spoke that language. I answered "YES" in that language quite forcefully and she was taken aback, smiling w/ embarrassment, because she had thought I didn't speak it.
Gosh, why did I hold back.
Oh, I asked her employee, still at the register, where she went. Her family apparently owns another deli in another part of town. Should I visit? 
sigh... lesson learned.
_____________________________
"We have removed an ally of Al Qaeda" - G.W. Bush lies to America and to the world, 5/1/2003
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RE: my crush is gone - 3/31/2008 8:55:35 AM
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John_O
Posts: 6936
Joined: 9/5/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: RichLP
Oh, I asked her employee, still at the register, where she went. Her family apparently owns another deli in another part of town. Should I visit?
Yes. Go there. Tell her you missed her, and ask her out.
If she says "No" the only thing you are out is the time. And you'll never have to wonder "what if?"
If she says "yes" then WOOHOO!!!!
You can't lose.
DO NOT however go there without asking her out. That would seem to stalking to me.
(Let us know what happens)
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: my crush is gone - 3/31/2008 11:17:06 AM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 936
Joined: 12/11/2007
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Do you know if she's a Christian? Would you date a woman who isn't a believer? I mean, if you would, that's your conviction and I won't judge you. The bible has guideliens for those areas of our lives.
But if you won't date a non believer, wouldn't it be better to find out whether she is or isn't before you spend a lot of energy pursuing her. I mean, you could go on full force pursuing her only to realize that she's not a believer. If you dump her after pursuing her, then you'd just be hurting her and ruining your testimony at the same time.
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RE: my crush is gone - 3/31/2008 1:06:33 PM
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AdrianaS
Posts: 1031
Joined: 3/21/2007
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: RichLP
quote:
ORIGINAL: AdrianaS
Its ok to cry for the spilled milk...and now you dont know why this or that...but it became a lesson to not spill the milk again and etc.
This crush situation may get in the way of just knowing pleasant people and etc.
Well..wish you a better approach next time.
Now..just curiosity, for how long you know her and know you have a crush? If you want share more, we are all ears.
End of summer last year. At one point during this winter I went there every day for lunch just because I wanted to see her. Yes, terribly corny. But hey, I'm honest.
I wasn't sure whether to approach her. Sometimes she was quite friendly; on other days she wouldn't give me the time of day. I knew she was very busy as a cashier and that she wasn't there to make friends. But when she was friendly with me, she was SO pleasant... such a beautiful huge smile, wonderful pale, soft (I'm assuming it was soft, I never laid a hand) facial skin, feminine hands.
She and I were from the same country and one day she blurted out to me in our ancestral language whether I spoke that language. I answered "YES" in that language quite forcefully and she was taken aback, smiling w/ embarrassment, because she had thought I didn't speak it.
Gosh, why did I hold back.
Oh, I asked her employee, still at the register, where she went. Her family apparently owns another deli in another part of town. Should I visit?
sigh... lesson learned.
Thank you for sharing Rich!
Oh gosh why did you hold back ? 
Ok..I'm all recuperated and alert now...hmmm...she is from the same Patria/motherland than you? To me it woud be just natural to naturaly want to kind of talk more about familiarities of culture and stuff with her! Yes you found her attractive and etc still, my personal approach is to just want to get to know people more particularly when there is cultural familiarity and the person is just pleasant one I have constant contact and etc. And yes, I very much sooner then later talk about my faith in Lord Jesus. As makes so much sense, as when person ask me how long Iam here in US and etc by telling bit of how I came here and etc I tell about my life BC Him and AD Christ. He is the fabric of my new life!
Then yes, for all means if you have opportunity and discernment you ask the Lord for is open doors, meet her again and when you properly have opportunity to introduce yourself to her again, introduce Him who is your life. And many women who has strong family values will for sure be very pleased with a man who is a man of faith, honor, character and walk the walk not just talk the talk etc.
Another thing, it seems she has a family around and who knows the plans of God about that? His plans are always good and He maybe even approaching you to a whole family who needs Him. Think about this as making friends with a family who has family earthly ancestry as you and much in commom. The Lord works in mysterious ways and many times by those appointments He sets, one thing is sure, we are going to blessed and be blessed.
Then keep your mind on Him and what He is wanting to accomplish through you, yes you may have crush going on etc but it can just fade and not last etc - but think about the totality of this situation possibilities and opportunity of you planting seeds that will last and go beyond crushes and etc still go find out wht she is about and be honest about what you are about.
Wow isn't just wonderful how the Lord is always teaching, training us in every single situation? Iam praying for you and may the Lord use you mightly in His pourposes to impact individual and families for His high pourposes and you influence them because of Him. Yes, I saw it happens many times and the fruits is glorious in Him, by a person just living their faith among others observing us and etc!
 Grace and Peace and go with Him lighting up your steps wherever you enter and exit!
Sorry..I'm very very much into cultures..but this ancient language you both speak ...which language is that? Ok, no need to share if you dont want etc...  ... 
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RE: my crush is gone - 4/1/2008 5:47:19 PM
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preserved
Posts: 1091
Joined: 6/12/2007
Status: offline
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What were you afraid of...But then again...It was just a crush...otherwise you should have shown more interest...
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RE: my crush is gone - 4/3/2008 3:43:56 AM
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ebony101
Posts: 740
Joined: 4/1/2007
From: the big blue marble
Status: offline
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We are all waiting with bated breath, Rich. I think that the fact that you now know where she is, is a 2nd opportunity. We all know that opportunity seldom knocks twice. If you don't make the most of this you'll live to regret it.
I totally agree with John O. - Rejection always heals faster than regret.
_____________________________
'We're writing a gospel, a chapter each day,
By the things that we do & the words that we say.'
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RE: my crush is gone - 4/3/2008 10:33:55 AM
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RichLP
Posts: 1779
Joined: 5/4/2005
Status: offline
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Not sure whether to go. I personally believe the likelier result is that she'll be surprised I came and will think nothing else... other than me having come to that part of town for lunch.
I'm actually reluctant cuz if I ask her out and she is taken or just laughs ("you came all the way here to ask me out? Silly, poor cute boy") I'll look like an idiot.
_____________________________
"We have removed an ally of Al Qaeda" - G.W. Bush lies to America and to the world, 5/1/2003
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RE: my crush is gone - 4/3/2008 10:49:47 AM
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John_O
Posts: 6936
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: RichLP
Not sure whether to go. I personally believe the likelier result is that she'll be surprised I came and will think nothing else... other than me having come to that part of town for lunch.
I'm actually reluctant cuz if I ask her out and she is taken or just laughs ("you came all the way here to ask me out? Silly, poor cute boy") I'll look like an idiot.
There is that risk. So what? Will you ever see her again if she laughs at you? Probably not. Will it destroy your entire world (The end of life as we know it!) if she says no? probably not. Sure you may feel embarassed for a little bit but you'll recover.
Now look at the upside. What if she says yes? Could be the start of a wonderful God blessed relationship. Who knows what wonders God may have instore for the two of you. Do you really want to throw that possibility away because someone you'll never see again may laugh at you?
If you saw a lottery ticket laying on the ground for yesterday's drawing and the 5 numbers (of 6) that you can see match the winning numbers, would you pass it by because some stranger may laugh at you for picking up a piece of trash? I wouldn't. I'd scoop it up so fast it would make your head spin. So the strangers laugh. I've got a good chance at winning big.
Likewise this girl. If she laughs, no loss. If she doesn't laugh, you may win big!
Go see her!
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: my crush is gone - 4/3/2008 11:29:05 AM
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iwillfearnoevil
Posts: 2859
Joined: 11/6/2007
From: upstate NY
Status: online
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i think if he is asking her on an informal first "date" for coffee, etc, that her Christianity can be something that's discussed during that meeting. i kinda think that is why the term "meet & greet" is popular in the online dating world. it's not a dress-up formal dinner to a fine restaurant. it's a typically short time to get to know someone and see if you'd like to start dating them and the subject of her walk (or lack thereof) can come up then. i think it'd be way more stalkerish of him to try to dig up info from her via other methods. Rich - i'll let ladies chime in or you can take it to 'she says' but i think she'd be more flattered and try to let you down nicely rather than be evil. i don't think you should be embarassed if she happens to be taken, some women get hit-on all the time and are used to it. plus if she says no, you may never see her again as she's in another area of town. if you are trying to build up courage to ask her, remember how she spoke to you in your native language... you may also want to go when it's not likely to be really busy so you don't feel really rushed or awkward in the presence of other customers.
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RE: my crush is gone - 4/3/2008 2:54:00 PM
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AdrianaS
Posts: 1031
Joined: 3/21/2007
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: RichLP
Not sure whether to go. I personally believe the likelier result is that she'll be surprised I came and will think nothing else... other than me having come to that part of town for lunch.
I'm actually reluctant cuz if I ask her out and she is taken or just laughs ("you came all the way here to ask me out? Silly, poor cute boy") I'll look like an idiot.
Hmm...
Well at least in my mind dictionary, this thing is not a crush at all..it maybe was just a bit extra interest for someone and because she went away, then it was called a crush somehow. In my head a real crush have at least some intensity in it and a drive to get to know someone, we may find extra interesting, at least.
To me the moment was lost in time now and it expresses gone because the many excuses and relutances there are to to find out where she is and etc. It may was just overreaction of some sorts.
As a people person, to me it does not even making sense to think about her anymore etc just move on and if by chance meet her etc maybe try a different approach, if there is real interest going on.
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my crush is gone - 
I'm sure you'll find another girl . . . and this time, you have lesson learned too! The next cute girl that is friendly, ask her out! 
