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Forgiveness, a dilemma - 2/8/2009 9:58:48 PM
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chagrin
Posts: 10
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Good day/evening,
I am filled with hate over someone and I don't think I will let it go for a while, maybe even years. We are to forgive or not be Godly, yes? Well if I died tonight, knowing I hate this person (and I really do, I want nothing but pain for the person in question) and I am saved (of course realizing that humans can never be Jesus, only to try to live by what he taught but we all know how difficult and weak we can be, and I am to this particular situation) am I no longer going to Heaven? Or is that something that holds a soul back?
I realize I haven't given you all the details and I won't but I am serious when I say I hate this person. What do you think and I understand if you don't think I am saved or whatever, I am just looking for rational thoughts. Thanks in advance :)
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RE: Forgiveness, a dilemma - 2/8/2009 10:20:22 PM
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LivingParadox
Posts: 686
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Here's what the Bible says regarding your question:
1 John 4:20
If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen.
Now what do you think the answer to your question is?
_____________________________
You can argue with your Maker
Or know the joy of saying yes to, to Him (let me hear you say)
Alrightokuhhuhamen (let me hear you say it)
Alrightokuhhuhamen
You can argue with your Maker
Or know th... ~ Rich Mullins
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RE: Forgiveness, a dilemma - 2/9/2009 2:56:05 AM
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Keabird
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The Bible also talks of the end result for those who practise sin without repentance. To practise something means to carry on doing it over and over.
"But now you must get rid of all these things: anger, passion and hateful feelings." Colossians 3:8
"So then, you must put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Be helpful to one another, and forgive one another... you must forgive each other in the same way the Lord has forgiven you. And to all of these add love, which binds all things together in perfect unity." Colossians 3: 12-14
What is the root of the hatred? (Without giving actual details of the situation). Is it from a tremendous hurt or insult? Is there a need for healing? If the root that started the hatred is not addressed, then there will continue to be problems?
_____________________________
"The thief comes to kill, steal and destroy, but I have come that you may have life and have it abundantly." John 10:10
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RE: Forgiveness, a dilemma - 2/9/2009 4:49:40 AM
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tenderandgentleheart
Posts: 34
Joined: 2/1/2009
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quote:
I am filled with hate over someone and I don't think I will let it go for a while, quote:
maybe even years. We are to forgive or not be Godly, yes? Well if I died tonight, knowing I hate this person (and I really do, I want nothing but pain for the person in question) and I am saved (of course realizing that humans can never be Jesus, only to try to live by what he taught but we all know how difficult and weak we can be, and I am to this particular situation) am I no longer going to Heaven? Or is that something that holds a soul back?
I realize I haven't given you all the details and I won't but I am serious when I say I hate this person. What do you think and I understand if you don't think I am saved or whatever, I am just looking for rational thoughts. Thanks in advance :)
Heavenly Father
I thank-you for bring Chagrin here. And I just lift him up to you. Father I ask that you will place you hand upon him and with your healing touch heal his unforgivness. Father help him to go back to the cross and hand over his hate to you Lord. Give him a peaceful and loving Spirit
Thank you father in Jesus name Amen
Chagrain if you hand this hate over to Jesus he is the one that can help you deal with it. We don't have to handle these things on our own. Just put you trust in Jesus and he will help you to heal. For we all fall short of the glory of God.
God bless Love Jenny
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RE: Forgiveness, a dilemma - 2/9/2009 6:12:57 AM
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mvic
Posts: 789
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Hi,
Welcome to the Forum. Rational thoughts eh? Let me try:
What you are experiencing is perfectly natural. Hatred is one of the many human emotions we all experience. You've been hurt badly (we don't need details here) and your natural reaction is hate. Normal and expected reaction. You seek redress, revenge, retribution, punishment, call it what you like. I could go on - but for the sake of brevity I won't.
So let's move on. What happens next? Do you continue with these feelings and let them eat you inside and turn your stomach to acid? Do you let them increase your blood pressure and eventually wreck your health? Or do you move on?
For a start - you will never forget. That is not possible. The bigger the hurt you've suffered the longer the memory will be there as vivid as always. Someone hurt me badly years ago and believe me - I remember. Every waking hour I have the results of that hurt to remind me.
So let's move on from being unable to forget to the next step - forgiving. Wow ... difficult first step. How can you forgive someone you hate?
For a start see it as a step towards self-preservation. Unless you forgive, truly forgive, you will never find peace of mind. So it is in your interest to do so.
How?
Begin by speaking to God. In your own words tell Him what you feel and how much you hate. Describe every detail of your vengeful thoughts towards that person who hurt you. Don't worry, God can take it. He suffered more on the Cross.
Then tell God that you hand over that person to Him. Tell Him to deal with that person as He sees fit in His own time. Ask Him to let that person see the errors of their ways. Ask Him to touch that person's heart and let them know the true love of Christ. Pray for that person yourself. Pray earnestly that the person gets to know Jesus and becomes a much better saved soul. You can't hate a person if you're praying for them.
Can you see the potential miracle within your hands? Through your suffering, through your hatred, through your genuine loving prayers someone, God willing, would turn to Christ.
Just try it. For your own sake as well as that person's. Start talking to God right now.
You'll never forget the hurt, just as Jesus never forgot what we did to Him. Every time He sees the scars on His hands, feet and side He prays for us. Every time you remember the hurt pray for this person.
God loves you. Trust Him. Don't let Him down.
God bless.
Praying for you.
_____________________________
My Book
Time For Reflections
Free E Book http://www.holyvisions.co.uk
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RE: Forgiveness, a dilemma - 2/9/2009 10:00:13 AM
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URForgiven
Posts: 91
Joined: 3/22/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: chagrin
Good day/evening,
I am filled with hate over someone and I don't think I will let it go for a while, maybe even years. We are to forgive or not be Godly, yes? Well if I died tonight, knowing I hate this person (and I really do, I want nothing but pain for the person in question) and I am saved (of course realizing that humans can never be Jesus, only to try to live by what he taught but we all know how difficult and weak we can be, and I am to this particular situation) am I no longer going to Heaven? Or is that something that holds a soul back?
I realize I haven't given you all the details and I won't but I am serious when I say I hate this person. What do you think and I understand if you don't think I am saved or whatever, I am just looking for rational thoughts. Thanks in advance :)
You not only hate this person, but you are planning your hate out for years to come? Your hate is so complete that you are sure you will hate for many more years? Seems you have already made up your mind.
The truth is you do not know that you have years to live. You do not even know if you will be alive tomorrow. You are at all times one heartbeat away from death. While you are sitting there stewing in your hate, this other person will be going about their life oblivious to it, and your hate will only be effecting you. And it's effect on you will not be good.
If you really want to do something that will effect this other person...forgive them as you have been forgiven. If you cannot forgive it can only mean that you suppose your own sin to be a less thing than this persons. But, God forgave you.
If you really want to effect this person then God has some contrary advice for you...
"If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." Romans 12:20
Seems there is even a positive way to get even. 
Peace
_____________________________
"Are you so foolish? After beginning with the Spirit,
are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort?" Galatians 3:3
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RE: Forgiveness, a dilemma - 2/9/2009 10:11:34 AM
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rcjames
Posts: 7803
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From: Oklahoma
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quote:
ORIGINAL: chagrin
Good day/evening,
I am filled with hate over someone and I don't think I will let it go for a while, maybe even years. We are to forgive or not be Godly, yes? Well if I died tonight, knowing I hate this person (and I really do, I want nothing but pain for the person in question) and I am saved (of course realizing that humans can never be Jesus, only to try to live by what he taught but we all know how difficult and weak we can be, and I am to this particular situation) am I no longer going to Heaven? Or is that something that holds a soul back?
Jesus was so very plain in the area of forgiveness;
(Mat 6:14) For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
(Mat 6:15) But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
Very plain, if you do not forgive, then you are not forgiven; and that is a bad situation to be in.
When we consider what was done to Jesus, and done without cause to an innocent person and yet He forgave them; then there is nothing that can happen to us that cannot be forgiven by a Believer. A Believer who by the Grace of God and the Sacrifice of Christ to bring them to that Belief, and the Holy Spirit to guide them.
Thanks
RC
_____________________________
Just a country Preacher's humble opinion
Read the first chapter of my latest book here;
http://www.deliveranceofsara.com
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RE: Forgiveness, a dilemma - 2/9/2009 10:43:34 AM
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deermousie
Posts: 2720
Joined: 9/26/2007
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I have my own "litany" about this:
1. People are no good.
2. God knows and loves no-good people and died to save them. Thus they are important to God.
3. We're called to be like God our Father, so what is important to Him should be important to us. So, we are to love people, too, inspite of the fact they are no good.
So here you are, an ambassador for God on earth. Someone has badly hurt you. Your job is to be rightly related to God (dealing with your sin and keeping the relationship with God unencumbered: so, confess your hatred and turn away from it every time it pops up again) and rightly related to people (Jesus died for us when people hated Him. Do you read of anyone in the Bible thanking Jesus as He suffered on the cross? No - no one understood what He was doing. They "got it" later as God opened their understanding. It's spiritual!).
So we give when we get nothing back. We bless when people hurt us. Because we are sons of God Most High, and that's what He did. He'll give you the power to do it, too. So get started. Now.
10We are fools for Christ, but you are so wise in Christ! We are weak, but you are strong! You are honored, we are dishonored! 11To this very hour we go hungry and thirsty, we are in rags, we are brutally treated, we are homeless. 12We work hard with our own hands. When we are cursed, we bless; when we are persecuted, we endure it; 13when we are slandered, we answer kindly. Up to this moment we have become the scum of the earth, the refuse of the world.
14I am not writing this to shame you, but to warn you, as my dear children. 15Even though you have ten thousand guardians in Christ, you do not have many fathers, for in Christ Jesus I became your father through the gospel. 16Therefore I urge you to imitate me. 1 Cor. 4
It's all about standing face to face with God and doing what He tells you to do. It hurts! It's humiliating at times. It could kill you.
DO IT ANYWAY
You are called to be His son. You inherit all He has (which is, like, everything). Keep your eyes on Him as the world pelts you with whatever it's throwing at you; it won't last forever. And if the world hates you, it's because they hate Him. It's proof of your sonship. Keep your eyes on Jesus, the author and finisher of your faith. He's the One who will say,"Well done, My good and faithful servant. Enter into the joy of My Kingdom." And that does last forever.
God bless you, Christian. I am praying for you today. Be a good soldier.
Hebrews 12:2
looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Matthew 5:44; Romans 12:14
< Message edited by deermousie -- 2/9/2009 10:50:02 AM >
_____________________________
People died to give you the Bible in your language.
Read it. Eat it. Dwell in it. Rightly divide it. Live it.
Laugh, dance, praise your God, and go read some more. And God bless you.
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RE: Forgiveness, a dilemma - 2/9/2009 3:18:35 PM
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Kath
Posts: 17618
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Moving from General Faith to Salvation Issues
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RE: Forgiveness, a dilemma - 3/2/2009 5:35:36 PM
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allisonbrett
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From: A bit north of the Big Chicken
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I think we can all say that there have been people in our lives that have hurt us deeply. We have a choice though, we can continue to hold on to those negative feelings, allow them to destroy our peace, our other relationships and most especially our personal relationship with Christ. Forgivness is never an easy task but one that can be accomplished with the Lord's help.
The key thing I want to share is this: remember, forgiveness is NOT for the other person, forgiveness is for you! By allowing all those negative feelings to harbor in your heart you are paying the ultimate price. By letting them go, by forgiving them releases you from so much pain, heartache, bitterness, etc. It can restore your joy and create in you a deeper peace. It also bridges that gap between you and the Lord.
It's ok to ask God for help in forgiving this person. Show your willing to try and the Lord will help you find the forgiveness that you, yourself know is important. In the end, YOU will be the better person and you'll reap the benefits.
_____________________________
Allison
A work in progress so please be patient, God is still working on me. Ouch, it sure is painful!
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RE: Forgiveness, a dilemma - 3/2/2009 10:28:07 PM
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rawr.ben
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quote:
ORIGINAL: mvic
What you are experiencing is perfectly natural. Hatred is one of the many human emotions we all experience.
Anger is natural.
Hatred is the result of sin.
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rawr.ben
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RE: Forgiveness, a dilemma - 3/2/2009 11:22:13 PM
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Gloryandgrace
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Well Chagrin here it is......
In this world you will have tribulation. The salvation of Jesus Christ that we receive in this world must resist the temptation of "the wrath of man" that does not work the righteousness of God.
We end up having to fight off anything that would grow a root of bitterness in us and thereby defiling us. We end up turning the other cheek, we end up laying down our lives, we end up being betrayed by false brethren, or hated by the world or denied and despised by others.
We are lied too, hated, rejected, persecuted, resisted, punished, all manner of violence is waged against us.....and the list goes on.
In which one of these did you expect that you would begin to call upon God to aid you in living out your christian walk? Let me tell you a secret. The Christian life is utterly impossible to do in the power of human flesh, determination or will power. You will utterly fail.
I do not dismiss in anyway the pain and genuine anger you feel for what has befallen you. What I am saying is you must do either of two things. You must be born again and realize you do not have creator rights to judge another person and hold hatred against them. I didnt say youve got to go over there and have potluck with them, Im saying you cannot maintain a right relationship with God and hate anyone. Its called walking in darkness...and it exposes you to horrible judgment from God himself.
Or the other, you enlist yourself in the discipleship of Christ, submit to being trained "on the job" and endure the hardness which will befall you. Do not think Christ does not care for your condition, He genuinely does care and will with this temptation and pain make a way of escape and give you grace whereby you may overcome.
The one way of hatred is the esteeming the value of yourself above all other things, its the enthroning of your person above God and above all relationship you will have with the body of Christ and with the Holy Spirit.
The other way is the esteeming of Christ more valuable than your present pain, its the enduring such pain and suffering, laying it down before Christ as on offering to Him, saying "I would rather Jesus Christ be loved and esteemed in my life than my suffering and pains" Please dear God empower me to forgive and have mercy upon me as I forgive.
The one way is the crumbling of your spiritual life into a black hole that absorbs all things into it. The pain, the hatred the bitterness will consume all people and things like a raging fire, it will not end until there is nothing left to consume.
The other way is the constant enablement of God's Spirit to hold you close to Christ, to heal you, to empower you, to open you up to be a vessel that will contain the precious love of God to be poured out upon wicked and sinful men....who desperately need it. In this way you will overcome and will be improved by such pain and suffering. In the end you will treasure Jesus Christ more than ever before and enjoy Christ as an all sufficient help when you are horribly abused.
John
_____________________________
Isa 42:6 I the LORD have called thee in righteousness, and will hold thine hand, and will keep thee, and give thee for a covenant of the people, for a light of the Gentiles.....
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RE: Forgiveness, a dilemma - 3/3/2009 11:46:16 AM
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terryjohn
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Given that many may well have hated Paul after his leading some of the persecution against the early believers what must they have thought when he showed up wanting to join them?
I guess we all hate others for the things they say and do knowingly or unintentionally but given eternity and the fact that the way they are does not change God or His promises, it is pointless spending so much time and engergy hating them. They say the opposite of love is actually to pay no attention to someone or to ignore them or forget them altogether, for in hate, you pay them as much attention as you would as you would if you loved them if not more. So forgetting it and them is much the same as forgiving them. If you can't, then by all means confront their sin as you would your own sins.
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RE: Forgiveness, a dilemma - 3/19/2009 1:40:25 PM
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Jersey79
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I myself would like some clarification on this issue on several accounts. And please understand that I am not a theologian and may be completely talking out of ignorance about what I say right now. I once heard someone say that God doesn't ask us to hold ourselves up to a higher standard than He holds himself to. In other words, we humans are not forgiven our sins unless we repent and ask forgiveness for them. Like in the parable of the unmerciful servant. Both he and his own servant asked for forgiveness. Say for instance that your daughter is raped and as the convict is walking out of the court to jail he smiles at you and said he was happy he did it. Are you supposed to forgive him even though he doesn't want it?
I just want to know for sure so that I can obey
Thanks
Jersey
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RE: Forgiveness, a dilemma - 3/19/2009 2:22:25 PM
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SovereignIsHe
Posts: 3982
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Jersey79
Say for instance that your daughter is raped and as the convict is walking out of the court to jail he smiles at you and said he was happy he did it. Are you supposed to forgive him even though he doesn't want it?
I just want to know for sure so that I can obey
Thanks
Jersey
While we were dead in our sins we were forgiven... You forgive because God commands it, it serves to bring glory to God to forgive, even more so for those who despise you... As well it serves to left a burden from yourself and helps to keep the desire to seek personal revenge at bay... God will deal with the mocker, one way or another...
_____________________________
John
Proverbs 12:10 A righteous man regardeth the life of his beast: but the tender mercies of the wicked are cruel.
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RE: Forgiveness, a dilemma - 3/19/2009 3:32:39 PM
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Jersey79
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I hear you SoverignIsHe, but I can't find where it say in the Bible that if we are dead in our sins and don't ask for forgiveness then we are forgiven. You know?
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RE: Forgiveness, a dilemma - 3/19/2009 5:43:54 PM
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gillian79
Posts: 7
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quote:
I myself would like some clarification on this issue on several accounts. And please understand that I am not a theologian and may be completely talking out of ignorance about what I say right now. I once heard someone say that God doesn't ask us to hold ourselves up to a higher standard than He holds himself to. In other words, we humans are not forgiven our sins unless we repent and ask forgiveness for them. Like in the parable of the unmerciful servant. Both he and his own servant asked for forgiveness. Say for instance that your daughter is raped and as the convict is walking out of the court to jail he smiles at you and said he was happy he did it. Are you supposed to forgive him even though he doesn't want it?
I just want to know for sure so that I can obey
Thanks
Jersey
YES. forgive them ever they hated you or never ask you for it. Since they dont ask, it not nessucary for u to say it to them face to face. better that u do but not a must if they dont ask or delight still in sins. forgive them in your heart, in a way it a realise of your sorry for them who dont want to be forgivness and gald in sin, because they going to hell (in present tense moment) and you are better for it, so this rightous anger, sometime as it is.
if anything it a healing thing for yourself not them in state of mind as well in drawing closer in spirit of God.
God will realise that ever sinner dont.
you forgive because that godly chracter and because u looking ahead with wisdom then sinners in their shortsights of earth.
Gillian
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RE: Forgiveness, a dilemma - 3/19/2009 6:16:03 PM
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SovereignIsHe
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Jersey79
I hear you SoverignIsHe, but I can't find where it say in the Bible that if we are dead in our sins and don't ask for forgiveness then we are forgiven. You know?
Colossians 2:13-14 And you, being dead in your sins and the uncircumcision of your flesh, hath he quickened together with him, having forgiven you all trespasses; Blotting out the handwriting of ordinances that was against us, which was contrary to us, and took it out of the way, nailing it to his cross;
The verse affirms that we are forgiven(of all sins) while dead in sin...
Another...
Ephesians 2:5 Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are saved;)
We repent because of what God does in us...
_____________________________
John
Proverbs 12:10 A righteous man regardeth the life of his beast: but the tender mercies of the wicked are cruel.
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RE: Forgiveness, a dilemma - 3/20/2009 10:58:29 AM
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Jersey79
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Point taken. Thanks
Jersey
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RE: Forgiveness, a dilemma - 4/2/2009 11:26:52 AM
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GodsMusic
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From: Arkansas
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Jersey79
I hear you SoverignIsHe, but I can't find where it say in the Bible that if we are dead in our sins and don't ask for forgiveness then we are forgiven. You know?
Jersey79, I see what you're saying. I believe we're forgiven when WE ASK for it. Otherwise everyone is going to Heaven, and that's not so.
Now, God's forgiveness has already taken place ON CALVARY. So in that sense God has ALREADY forgiven us, but SOME have not yet accepted that forgiveness because they haven't asked.
With all that in mind, here's a simple verse from Colossians:
3:13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.
So I guess that means we are to forgive them whether they accept it or not, just like God does.
< Message edited by GodsMusic -- 4/3/2009 1:56:53 PM >
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RE: Forgiveness, a dilemma - 5/29/2009 3:14:30 PM
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chagrin
Posts: 10
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LivingParadox
Here's what the Bible says regarding your question:
1 John 4:20
If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen.
Now what do you think the answer to your question is?
After reading that, I am reminded that God forgave murderers who asked for forgiveness.
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RE: Forgiveness, a dilemma - 5/29/2009 3:18:40 PM
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chagrin
Posts: 10
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Keabird
What is the root of the hatred? (Without giving actual details of the situation). Is it from a tremendous hurt or insult? Is there a need for healing? If the root that started the hatred is not addressed, then there will continue to be problems?
The root is treachery, deception, theft, emotional abuse and sadly, divorce. Let's call it a string of lies that led to spousal abandonment, theft of all belongings and homelessness. I am, still today, unable to forgive and angry as ever. I've been to church, consulted with a pastor, read, prayed but it simply won't go away and I doubt it will, this is the only time I have ever felt such anger for someone; I mean it's seriously, hatred. Of course I am afraid for my soul and I want not to hate but it's not as simple as a choice that is made; I don't believe in brainwashing. This is a deeply rooted feeling that I cannot shake.
I am hoping that time will help this but I can't know the future, if I got hit by a car today for example, you know?
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RE: Forgiveness, a dilemma - 5/29/2009 3:21:13 PM
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chagrin
Posts: 10
Joined: 5/24/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: mvic
Hi,
Welcome to the Forum. Rational thoughts eh? Let me try:
What you are experiencing is perfectly natural. Hatred is one of the many human emotions we all experience. You've been hurt badly (we don't need details here) and your natural reaction is hate. Normal and expected reaction. You seek redress, revenge, retribution, punishment, call it what you like. I could go on - but for the sake of brevity I won't.
So let's move on. What happens next? Do you continue with these feelings and let them eat you inside and turn your stomach to acid? Do you let them increase your blood pressure and eventually wreck your health? Or do you move on?
For a start - you will never forget. That is not possible. The bigger the hurt you've suffered the longer the memory will be there as vivid as always. Someone hurt me badly years ago and believe me - I remember. Every waking hour I have the results of that hurt to remind me.
So let's move on from being unable to forget to the next step - forgiving. Wow ... difficult first step. How can you forgive someone you hate?
For a start see it as a step towards self-preservation. Unless you forgive, truly forgive, you will never find peace of mind. So it is in your interest to do so.
How?
Begin by speaking to God. In your own words tell Him what you feel and how much you hate. Describe every detail of your vengeful thoughts towards that person who hurt you. Don't worry, God can take it. He suffered more on the Cross.
Then tell God that you hand over that person to Him. Tell Him to deal with that person as He sees fit in His own time. Ask Him to let that person see the errors of their ways. Ask Him to touch that person's heart and let them know the true love of Christ. Pray for that person yourself. Pray earnestly that the person gets to know Jesus and becomes a much better saved soul. You can't hate a person if you're praying for them.
Can you see the potential miracle within your hands? Through your suffering, through your hatred, through your genuine loving prayers someone, God willing, would turn to Christ.
Just try it. For your own sake as well as that person's. Start talking to God right now.
You'll never forget the hurt, just as Jesus never forgot what we did to Him. Every time He sees the scars on His hands, feet and side He prays for us. Every time you remember the hurt pray for this person.
God loves you. Trust Him. Don't let Him down.
God bless.
Praying for you.
Wow, now this speaks to me, I can try to do this - honestly, I have sat there and cried to God about it - I asked him please take the hatred out and I have stated that I hate this person and I wished this person harm, not specific harm but harm. Though I never asked him to deal with her in his own way.
Thank you for the words, I will think on this!
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RE: Forgiveness, a dilemma - 5/29/2009 3:29:27 PM
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chagrin
Posts: 10
Joined: 5/24/2005
Status: offline
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Well, my intention was to reply to each post, just because I am thankful for the replies - I know you don't expect me to, just saying...
Anyway, I don't know what course this will take. I believe God forgives anyone for anything if that person asks for it because in the end, we are not Jesus - furthermore, I have been married more than once and since there was no "cheating" involved in my divorces, I am an adulterer; and that's supposedly keeping me from heaven as well. So I am torn, on one hand I believe God will forgive anything if asked with the right intent in my heart. If I want not to hate but still feel hate, and ask for forgiveness, I could say that yes, I think I will be saved from damnation, but on the other hand, I have always felt that if I can't forgive someone, I won't be forgiven. Although I have to say, I think it's pretty unfair for God to damn me when I am the victim of some terrible stuff here. I think what I feel is normal at the moment in time, and I am unable, at this moment, to forgive or consider strongly, forgiving...fresh wounds and all (6 months later, almost no reduction in the pain, anger).
I guess I'm just screwed, huh.
Thank you all for writing in, I appreciate it. I have been a member here for a few years, just don't post much because I think I am my own worst enemy when it comes to debates and I already have enough stress so I don't join in; I'm weak, lol!
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RE: Forgiveness, a dilemma - 5/29/2009 8:15:06 PM
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mvic
Posts: 789
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline
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Chagrin,
Let's try and clear some things up.
You say in your last Post "and that's supposedly keeping me from heaven as well."
If you have sinned, and you have confessed your sins to God, repented about them, and promised Him that you'll do your utmost not to repeat those sins - then He has forgiven you. The sins have gone; the slate is wiped clean.
The next thing to bear in mind is: Have you forgiven others who have hurt you?
Christ taught us: Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sinned against us.
When you get to meet God, as we all will, He will ask you: Did you forgive? Truly forgive?
If you did not forgive, how do you expect Him to forgive you?
Of course, the hurt and pain will still be there. The memories of what has been done to you will still be there. They will never go away.
Having bad memories is not a sin. Acting upon them is. If, when the memories come, you hate that person who hurt you, you wish them harm, and you harbour ill-feelings towards them - then that is a sin. It's a sign you have not forgiven.
On the other hand, if you use the bad memories as a reminder to pray for that person. If you ask God to come into their lives. Then you are turning the bad memories into good - and God will smile on you.
I know it is difficult to turn bad memories into loving prayers. God knows I've tried. But the fact that it is difficult should not stop you from trying.
Starting from right now.
God bless.
_____________________________
My Book
Time For Reflections
Free E Book http://www.holyvisions.co.uk
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