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Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 7/2/2009 9:01:16 PM
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pink..
Posts: 11133
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grrr...... withdrawals are lasting much longer today than they did yesterday!
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Gratitude is a vaccine, an antitoxin and an antiseptic.
~ John Henry Jowett
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 7/2/2009 10:06:31 PM
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magdaleine
Posts: 4924
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quote:
What did it say this morning? 189.5!
At least it didn't say 289.5
Congratulations on your prizes, Stovie! It's always fun to win something.
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I can't believe that she actually thought I'd say yes.
Co-ed slumber parties? Maybe some naive mother thinks that since she'll be in the house nothing untoward would happen. sheesh!
Sorry you're having such a hard time with withdrawals, Roberta.
I saw my doctor today. Last week when I saw her, I was really excited about the energy I had had for the couple days before that. That promptly changed along with my sleeping and eating. I couldn't think of any reason why my sleeping has been so messed up this past week but as I looked at my week, I remembered a conflict with dh the evening of the day I saw my doctor and the evening that everything seemed to fall apart. I had not made the connection between the two at all, but my doctor thinks they're quite related. Wonderful. Sigh. We had another on Tuesday and a big one tonight. We're supposed to be going away to a Christian camp for a week starting this Sunday but I'm now very tempted to stay home. There have been some great strides in our marriage but we're still not able to resolve conflict. What do I do when it's affecting my health and my ability to function? I feel so weary and discouraged.
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Maggie
Magdaleine's Maddening Imagings
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 7/3/2009 1:01:48 AM
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a_sparrow
Posts: 626
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From: Los Angeles
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Maggie,
Can you get away without your dh - or is it possible that you two will have less conflict together at the Christian camp? Or, if you stay home, will your dh go to the camp alone, giving you the chance to be by yourself in your house for a week? Because dh and I live separately, we get regular, frequent breaks from each other, and although I'm not thrilled with the setup, sometimes the breaks relieve tension and benefit our mental health, in a way. (And it sounds as if your marital conflict is affecting your physical as well as your mental health, which is not good at all, of course.)
Roberta, it does sound as if you have a lot going on! Agree, it may be a good idea to contact your therapist and try to obtain a pdoc referral that way. (It's a good idea to get an appointment for therapy as well, of course.) I don't know whether any offices will be open tomorrow, but it's worth a try. And, you're a braver woman than I to be going to a new group, already.
ETA: oh, and the co-ed slumber parties? Dumb, dumb idea. Your daughter is blessed to have a mom who is smarter than that.
I was an irritating, annoying, bitter, nasty, full-of-recriminations wife this evening. A leaky faucet, dripping hydrochloric acid, or some other noxious substance. I need to learn to strike a balance between enabling dh and considering his functional non-treatment of his condition normal, and behaving in a way that is distinctly not loving. I need to drag myself back to a CODA group, I guess, as nervous as it makes me.
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Elizabeth
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 7/3/2009 9:30:41 AM
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magdaleine
Posts: 4924
Joined: 4/11/2005
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What's a CODA group?
Dh will go next week whether I go with him or not so staying home would give me a break from him. I had actually considered taking a trip in July and August and my doctor highly recommended that I do, but somehow that seems to be a bigger bite than I can chew right now. My aunt is celebrating her 75th birthday this summer.
She lives on Vancouver Island so I figured that if I drove out there for that, once I was already on the West Coast, it would be the perfect time to head south and visit friends and family, including any here who live in the West Coast states. Once I hit San Diego, I would head east into Arizona and then home through eastern Utah, Colorado, Nebraska and the Dakotas. I have a nice chunk of money tucked away that I could use for this but it truly isn't enough and I would probably wind up increasing my debt. Additionally, I've delayed getting my passport and now it's probably too late. Effective June 1, passports are needed to drive (or boat) between our two countries.
But as I'm writing all this, I'm remembering how one year I had dh drive me out to a nearby provincial park and I tented alone for a week (I think we had only one car at the time). I could do something like that.
quote:
oh, and the co-ed slumber parties? Dumb, dumb idea.
It needs to be remembered in these days of accepted sexual fluidity that there are also dangers in girls-only or boys-only sleep overs.
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I was an irritating, annoying, bitter, nasty, full-of-recriminations wife this evening.
{{{{{{{{Elizabeth}}}}}}}}
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Maggie
Magdaleine's Maddening Imagings
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 7/3/2009 9:33:09 AM
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magdaleine
Posts: 4924
Joined: 4/11/2005
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I said I'd go down to my prayer room when my breakfast was finished. It's finished now but I so don't want to go down there. I guess that's a sign that I really need to, eh? Does someone want to give me a good swift kick?
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Maggie
Magdaleine's Maddening Imagings
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Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 7/3/2009 9:39:01 AM
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pink..
Posts: 11133
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*kicks Maggie* did that work?
Elizabeth - what is CODA?
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Gratitude is a vaccine, an antitoxin and an antiseptic.
~ John Henry Jowett
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 7/3/2009 9:41:47 AM
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IwillseekHim
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Bend over Maggie, here comes the kick  . Just kidding ya...
I'm not sure what to tell you about whether or not to go to camp with hubby. I can see where you would appreciate just the quiet time at home, too. Hey, just out of curiousity, will you describe to me what a prayer room is, please? Ive got my ideas but not sure. Thanks. And have a great day. Melissa
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 7/3/2009 11:10:00 AM
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magdaleine
Posts: 4924
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quote:
Hey, just out of curiousity, will you describe to me what a prayer room is, please?
It's a room dedicated to prayer. In my case, it's actually part of a room. It is also my sewing room and a catch-all place to put things before I put them away. I have a rocking chair I sit in to face the part of the room that's dedicated to time with God, ignoring the rest of the rather small room.
To my right I have maps of Canada and the US on the wall with pins stuck in the places where people I pray for live. I have a shelf of biblical reference books and a little side table where I keep whatever books I'm currently using, a place to put my tea or food if I bring them down with me (it's in the basement) and a box of kleenex.
On the wall in front of me are more maps--one of the world and one of my city with the same purpose as the ones beside me. Moving toward the corner is a large painting of the cross with other things painted into it that have symbolic meaning for me. Below the painting is a trunk I use as an altar. I have a rolled up blanket on the floor so I can kneel there if I want.
On the trunk I have a candle, a small water fountain, a tiny dish of salt, a crown of thorns, a little box with a waterfall on it, a long-ago letter of someone I continue to pray for and a doll that reminds me of me when I was little. Each of these items are symbolic prompts to pray, some using Scripture such as "You are the light of the world...you are the salt of the earth."
Turning the corner, I have a shelf with more symbolic items I use as prayer prompts and things on the wall above it. Here I pray for my children and a few special others, I pray for my marriage, I thank God for a variety of things such as his love and provision and more.
I guess you could say that I've developed my own litergy of prayer, praying similarly each day but, depending on what's happening in my life, I may spend a longer time praying over one thing. Today that will probably include my marriage.
I also add things as appropriate. The lattest thing I've added is a figurine someone gave me of an "angel" looking like a nine or ten-year-old girl, carrying a plate of muffins in one hand and several mugs of hot chocolate with whipped cream on top in the other. I used to have people over a lot but I hardly do that anymore. The figurine is a reminder to ask God to help me get back to the place where I can, once again, do this.
When I'm finished my little "litergy," I sit down to pray some more--sometimes by typing my heart out to God, other times sitting in silent contemplation--and then to do some serious study that often results in me writing for my blog. Last year I started going through the Complete Works of Oswald Chambers, one section or so a day. I am nowhere near finished it but I thought that this year I would try something different, so I've been using the spiritual formation guides by Renovaré, In the Name of Jesus by Henri Nouwen and The Wounded Heart workbook by Dan B. Allender.
I think and pray often by writing and so while I'm looking at one of these books, I'm having a "discussion" between me, the book and God. Sometimes my study takes a tangent as I explore the meaning of a particular word or idea.
I love it down here (yes, I'm in my prayer room now) but sometimes it takes a great deal of oomph to get myself down here. One of the reasons I enjoy it so much is that our basement is primarily used only for laundry and storage so I am left pretty much alone unless there is some urgent need.
Hope that answers your question. I know I didn't mention reading my Bible. I do that every night in bed before I go to sleep.
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Maggie
Magdaleine's Maddening Imagings
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 7/3/2009 1:20:38 PM
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a_sparrow
Posts: 626
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Yes, agapetos was right about CODA.
Maggie, that trip sounds totally awesome, and it's a shame you can't go. Dh drove across the U.S. a few years ago and he described it as an amazing experience. But the camping idea sounds like a decent alternative.
Wow, you've put a lot of thought into your prayer room (and the studies you've chosen). Glad you were able to push yourself to go down there today!
The agenda for today includes getting Botox in my forehead at dh's request, shopping for MIL, and filling a prescription for driving and walking around glasses that it seems I suddenly need.
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Elizabeth
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Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 7/3/2009 1:24:20 PM
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pink..
Posts: 11133
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I thought I was going to have some time today to get something done, but allergies have really done me in. In 30 minutes or so I'll be leaving for a funeral and then we are going downtown for the beginnings of the celebrations this weekend. Almost the whole town will be there. It's a good thing that this is a small town. 
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Gratitude is a vaccine, an antitoxin and an antiseptic.
~ John Henry Jowett
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 7/3/2009 1:34:38 PM
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a_sparrow
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From: Los Angeles
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Sorry about the funeral. Enjoy the celebrations.
(Those sentences in the same paragraph just seem...wrong.)
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Elizabeth
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 7/3/2009 1:42:23 PM
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pink..
Posts: 11133
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quote:
ORIGINAL: a_sparrow
Sorry about the funeral. Enjoy the celebrations.
(Those sentences in the same paragraph just seem...wrong.)
LOL!
However, she was a believer. So she is having a celebration.
She was in her early 90s, had several physical problems as well as dementia. She lived a good life.
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Gratitude is a vaccine, an antitoxin and an antiseptic.
~ John Henry Jowett
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 7/3/2009 1:49:57 PM
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magdaleine
Posts: 4924
Joined: 4/11/2005
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Botox in your forehead? Why?
Yeah, it would have been a fun trip. Oh well. The time will come. I think my grandfather was about 80 years old when he bought a Greyhound pass for unlimited travel and spent the summer (maybe longer) circling around the continent to visit all his spread-out family.
quote:
Wow, you've put a lot of thought into your prayer room (and the studies you've chosen). Glad you were able to push yourself to go down there today!
It's something that has evolved with time but it's become very meaningful and although I pray much the same things each time, it's not rote. I suppose it could become rote but I don't want that. There's no point in that. I want meaningful interaction with God. As for the studies, I'm hopeless when it comes to books. I can't resist them so, having bought them, I need to do something with them. I just bought 5 or 6 thick, scholarly books on the book of Revelation. Opening them up I wonder if I will ever be able to wade through them but I will try.
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Maggie
Magdaleine's Maddening Imagings
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 7/3/2009 11:27:27 PM
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pink..
Posts: 11133
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Hi Melissa!
quote:
ORIGINAL: MyCatSmokey2006
Roberta, praying for comfort for you in the death of your grandmother? Also praying for relief from allergies and withdrawals.
It was a neighbor. She actually passed away last week. However, she loved the 4th of July and her family had planned a get together for this weekend, so they decided to have the funeral today. That way her family wasn't making two trips from out of state. Her family got permission to do a fireworks celebration just outside of town. I got to watch it all from my front yard and didn't have to deal with the noise. 
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Gratitude is a vaccine, an antitoxin and an antiseptic.
~ John Henry Jowett
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 7/4/2009 2:29:43 AM
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a_sparrow
Posts: 626
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From: Los Angeles
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quote:
It helps stop frown lines and creases in the forehead. Elizabeth, you're a brave lady ~ I wouldn't get it done for anything (thankfully, I don't have them ~ yet!)
Foolish, perhaps, not brave.  I ended up getting a new product that has just come to market in the U.S. instead of Botox. It's a different formulation of the same toxin that's supposed to last longer. Other bonuses: less is needed to achieve the same effect, it's cheaper, and it takes less time to paralyze the target muscles. Hopefully within 3 days or so, I'll have a smooth forehead, too.
Maggie,
I've considered the possibility of choosing a liturgical church, although I don't think I'll end up going in that direction, because dh has indicated he might be interested in a Messianic fellowship. Liturgy can be beautiful, and the structure seems to make it easier for me to worship. It's neat that you've invested the time and thought into developing your own liturgy as part of your daily worship.
agapetos, somehow the prayer labyrinth you linked to reminds me of the Stations of the Cross. I'm not exactly sure why.
Roberta, it sounds as if your departed neighbor really did have a celebratory send-off. It's nice that the family was able to arrange to have their own fireworks display. That would not have been allowed anywhere I've lived.
Hope you have a withdrawal-free day tomorrow.
Melissa, sorry you didn't have the greatest day, but glad you're feeling better.
After running around all day, I am exhausted. We looked for furniture for MIL's new apartment, but didn't find anything satisfactory. We'll look again tomorrow. We're going to see her next week, and hopefully we'll be able to bring some of the things she needs.
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Elizabeth
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 7/4/2009 3:06:39 AM
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magdaleine
Posts: 4924
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quote:
Maggie, that sounds like a good idea, a prayer room. I don't have one, but I have a special purple rug that I kneel on beside my bed when I pray.
That's cool! Royal colour for a visit with the King!
quote:
Maggie, as I read your post about your prayer room, I wondered if you'd ever 'walked' a prayer labyrinth? I went on a Christian holiday a few years ago and they'd set a place up where you could do it. Your post made me think of it though.
Yes I have and have found them very meaningful.
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I've considered the possibility of choosing a liturgical church, although I don't think I'll end up going in that direction, because dh has indicated he might be interested in a Messianic fellowship. Liturgy can be beautiful, and the structure seems to make it easier for me to worship. It's neat that you've invested the time and thought into developing your own liturgy as part of your daily worship.
I'm using the word "Liturgy" in a very loose sense--trying to find a word to describe what I do. The church I attend now is anything but liturgical but I love it. I'm thinking that a Messianic fellowship would have a liturgy--different from the churches that we think of as liturgical but nevertheless. I'm guessing that synagogues have their own liturgy and that Messianic fellowships would borrow from them. As for "daily worship," that's the goal. It's not the reality. As I said before, there are days when it's very difficult to get down there. Interestingly, however, my non-Christian psychiatrist knows how beneficial it is to me and chides me when I report that I've been missing days. Is that cool or what? (and keeping this in the topic of the thread).
quote:
agapetos, somehow the prayer labyrinth you linked to reminds me of the Stations of the Cross. I'm not exactly sure why.
Stations of the Cross (in one form or another) are often what are used in a prayer labyrinth.
I slept for over five hours this afternoon, simply as an escape from the emotional pain I was feeling from last night. It was about 7:00 in the evening when I opened my eyes, though a bit longer before I actually got out of bed. Dh came into the room while I was awake but still in bed and expressed surprise. I guess he hadn't realized I was sleeping.
When he wanted to know why, I took the opportunity to tell him that, while there have been some very positive things happening in our marriage, the negative things are so stressful for me it's affecting not only my mental health but also my physical health. He actually listened to me and we were able to clear some of the air. I still don't know about going away for the week with him though. It would be nice to have some time away from him but maybe it would be helpful to go away together.
I'm going to sleep on it and think about it. I've made a list of what I need to do if I am going. I was going to do all those things today but slept instead so I don't know if I can even be ready. Dh has to get there as soon as possible after lunch on Sunday, which means being packed and ready to go before going to church and then heading out promptly afterwards.
Surprisingly, despite all my sleep today, I'm tired enough to sleep again. It's 2:00 a.m., so I guess that's seven hours of being awake. Somehow it seems less.
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Maggie
Magdaleine's Maddening Imagings
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 7/4/2009 9:27:10 AM
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pink..
Posts: 11133
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quote:
ORIGINAL: a_sparrow
Roberta, it sounds as if your departed neighbor really did have a celebratory send-off. It's nice that the family was able to arrange to have their own fireworks display. That would not have been allowed anywhere I've lived.
Pretty easily done when you live in a town of 800 people and you have a family that has lived here all of it's life.
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Hope you have a withdrawal-free day tomorrow.
Thanks, me too. I am going over to one of my neighbor's homes for lunch today.
quote:
I slept for over five hours this afternoon, simply as an escape from the emotional pain I was feeling from last night. It was about 7:00 in the evening when I opened my eyes, though a bit longer before I actually got out of bed. Dh came into the room while I was awake but still in bed and expressed surprise. I guess he hadn't realized I was sleeping.
When he wanted to know why, I took the opportunity to tell him that, while there have been some very positive things happening in our marriage, the negative things are so stressful for me it's affecting not only my mental health but also my physical health. He actually listened to me and we were able to clear some of the air. I still don't know about going away for the week with him though. It would be nice to have some time away from him but maybe it would be helpful to go away together.
((((hugs)))) Maggie, I tend not to sleep when I'm stressing, but I have learned that if I pretend to be sleeping, then I can isolate myself and not be bugged by anyone.
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Gratitude is a vaccine, an antitoxin and an antiseptic.
~ John Henry Jowett
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 7/4/2009 11:11:32 AM
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magdaleine
Posts: 4924
Joined: 4/11/2005
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quote:
I have learned that if I pretend to be sleeping, then I can isolate myself and not be bugged by anyone.
I've done that many times.
I got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Been up now for 3 1/2 hours. I'm going to go back to bed and hope dh doesn't call me for a ride home from the hair stylist's.
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Maggie
Magdaleine's Maddening Imagings
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 7/4/2009 12:49:47 PM
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a_sparrow
Posts: 626
Joined: 6/20/2006
From: Los Angeles
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quote:
I slept for over five hours this afternoon, simply as an escape from the emotional pain I was feeling from last night.
((Maggie))
I'm glad you were able to have a productive discussion with your dh, though.
Can you go away with your dh, and later take some time to yourself - perhaps via the camping trip you mentioned?
I've done the sleep for avoidance thing before, resulting in an inability to sleep much at all during the night. I hope you are able to get a bit more sleep.
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Elizabeth
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 7/4/2009 4:05:04 PM
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magdaleine
Posts: 4924
Joined: 4/11/2005
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Thanks for the hug, Elizabeth.
I'm not doing well at all. I had a big meltdown a bit earlier. Actually, I think I've been in a meltdown since Thursday's fight. I did go back to bed and spent the grand total of one hour sleeping. I'm so agitated that when I wake up, I can't go back to sleep. I finally called dh and asked him to cuddle. When he did, I broke down in sobs. I asked him to talk to me and reassure me and he said that whenever he says something, he puts his foot in his mouth. Wow! That tells me that he's not trying to be miserable. I don't know. Sounds dumb but that statement helped me.
He's encouraging me to go with him to the lake, even if I bring my computer and spend the entire time in the cabin. I won't do that but the cabin does have a little deck on the front, facing the water, where I could sit on my lawn chair. So now, with no energy and seemingly falling apart, can I get done the things I need to do in order to go?
I've got a load of laundry washing and handwashed a dress. I have to go pick up some prescriptions and a couple of other things. Some things in the laundry will have to be ironed. I should handwash the dress I'm wearing but I could do that at camp and it doesn't need ironing, just a good shake while it's still damp (amazing how that works).
I hope all you Americans are having a good day today with your celebrations.
Glad you're having a good mental health day today, Melissa.
Roberta, I forgot to thank you for your hug. Thanks.
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Maggie
Magdaleine's Maddening Imagings
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RE: Mental Health Encouragement - One Stop Thread - 7/4/2009 5:43:15 PM
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pink..
Posts: 11133
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quote:
ORIGINAL: magdaleine
I hope all you Americans are having a good day today with your celebrations.
We were supposed to have a light rain shower early this morning. When I grow up I want to be a meteorologist! I woke up to rain around 7 am and it has either rained or poured the entire day! It was supposed to get up to 80ºF but I've been outside several times today and seen the temp. downtown, the warmest it was today was 64ºF! It's after 5:30 pm. I'm ready for the 80ºF and ready for the "light shower" to end!
No fireworks for us tonight.
_____________________________
Gratitude is a vaccine, an antitoxin and an antiseptic.
~ John Henry Jowett
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vacuuming and doing laundry. Now I feel better.
